last sunday was what, the 30th or something?

Game: Wise and Otherwise
Players: Vivian, Sarah, Petra, Jarett, Jeremy, Willow, Mike
Drinks: wine, and lots of it

There's an old Bedouin saying, The camel laughed till he…:

  • couldn't breathe, had covered everyone in spit, and was hyperventilating

  • shat a scopian

  • split his lip

  • recognized the essential futility of life and shot himself. Opposable thumgs. No really.

  • before the horses

  • lost his hump

  • was anally penetrated

There's an old Greek saying, I will do everything…:

  • necessary to make you happy. Including that. Yeah, THAT

  • for one glimpse of a boy's supple buttocks

  • but walk into a Spartan barracks covered in honey and dolmas shouting "Take me now!"

  • I will do everything. Anything you ask. If only, if ONLY you'll let me do that thing to the pigeon, just once more…on video

  • in the summer

  • Olympus asks

  • oh yeah we likes em young

There's an old Japanese saying, Loose Lips...:

  • help sink ships. By which I mean giving the captain oral sex

  • are no match for a prolapsed rectum… SEX

  • will never inhale wisdom

  • insert tentacle dripping with blood and other secretions from prepubescent girls in sailor suits. Which is why I don't watch anime

  • hides no tongue, so really, who loses here?

  • make cold teeth

  • you wanna suckie suckie. Only five dollar. 10 dollar fuckie fuckie

There's an old Jamacian saying, many bits make a…:

  • pound

  • BLUNT. Motherfucker

  • Bangin' bobsled team

  • large, smelly collection of various chunks of flesh, some of which remain enticing even in states of decay

  • many shaves and haircuts

  • rundown

  • well hung rasta with the phrase "welcome to Jamaica Have a Nice Day" tattooed on his cock

There's an old Burmese saying, One throws away the baked fish when…:

  • it's been in the fridge way too long and starts growing societies

  • the pussy has gotten tiresome

  • the crows no longer circle

  • the tasty aroma of fresh fish fills the room. And I do mean fills the room, some o' them bitchez is stinky

  • the tasty aroma of fresh fish fills the room. And I do mean fills the room, some o' them bitchez is stinky

  • the sheep are fattened

  • one sees the fresh fish

There's an old Iraqi saying, He lingers like…:

  • the smell of freshly baked fish, or whatever that definition was

  • Muhammad, gazing lovingly into the eyes of Fatima the camel. One hump or two?

  • that one poor fucker we buried to his neck in the sand and covered in shit

  • English colonization

  • (devilishly uncreative answer) any given disease you can name (/devilishly uncreative answer)

  • a Cardamum pod in winter

  • G.W., at the end of any meaningful sentence

There's an old Nigerian saying, The bird that imagines itself on a level with the turkey buzzard…:

  • has been eating too many shrooms and is fuct up. F U C T. fuct.

  • will soon find itself on the grill

  • is a revolutionary agent for social change and a symbol of the struggle of the proletariate

  • has questionable self-esteem, but much practice at the fine art of the comb-over

  • is itself a goddamn turkey buzzard, because this is a fucking trick question, suckas!

  • soon falls to the level of a grub

  • you know what else is awkward, sleeping on the couch.

There's an old Danish saying, if you stir up the bog…:

  • beware the noxious fumes

  • you will find Leonardo DiCaprio, still clinging to that damn board. Yeah, I let go. What now, motherfuckers?

  • you must bear the smell

  • it's best if you've been sufficently selective NOT to end up with one of the stinky bitchez from proverb #1

  • …and…I…I knew a girl once

  • you stir up the bog

  • fucking Danish people, I can't think of anything amusing

where are my keys?

Birthday Balderdash!

Players: Vivian, Matt, Chris, Jason, Jeremy, Willow, Evy
Drinks: Tequila and OJ, Riesling, Pinot Grigio, Chardonnay
Smokey Treats: Black Cloves, lemon tobacco in hookah with peach schnapps in base


  • Presidential vagina machine. Fuck, this warmup round sucks

  • when spoken 3 times "kucumis kucumis kucumis" small white faeries emerge from your wand and seek out small eggs with which to join

  • bird native to pacific islands, usually well endowed males are chosen as mates

  • a special blend of couscous developed by the Coca-Cola Co. to pacify the populace of 3rd world countries



  • gooey tooth abscess

  • just not drunk enough yet, sorry. I think I'll need another cigarette, too.

  • the sticky fluid found emanating around the mouth of slack jaw yokels

  • dogs pawing at the maggoty vagina of a fresh corpse. Can we work vagina into every definition tonight? I think so.

  • a seeping wound in the crotch vicinity, not contagious


  • a hybrid of ecstasy and a habanjaro pepper

  • existential flavorings

  • dull or uninteresting cuisine [long pause] vagina.

  • you remember the guy who got a habanera seed stuck in the tip of his cock after having anal sex with his mexican girlfriend. Now that's extispicy!!! and not in a good way.


  • a machine capable of generating its own urine

  • thought process of avid exhibitionists

  • psychic automated pigeon

  • futuristic PEZ dispensing device, semi-auto for a triple shot of pleasure, or switch to fully auto for a mouth full of sweet sugary goodness.

  • short-lived and poorly marketed Fun Plastic Robot for the urine-fetish set. Lost out to the sleeker-lined Urethrotron in the late 1980's [I begin to feel the spirit of the Booze move within me...]


  • a chubby donkey

  • fat hicks [chubby honkies]

  • when you're looking for some meat that's good to eat, turn to the tasty racist treat! Chonkeys! Chocolate-flavored honkey-burgers. From Kraft.

  • Dumb white boys with nothing better to do than hate on black people, hit their wives, and breed like jackrabbits. C-Honkeys. Or the Irish, but they hate lots of people

  • a Canadian candy that was discontinued in 1984. PETA discovered that these "chocolate monkeys" actually contained real monkey

  • the health department's term for rodent fecal matter in sugary snacks


  • try our weekly special on cock-sausage. Comes in its own natural casing!

  • the store that resulted from a merger between Target and K-Mart

  • the section of the slave market where you go for the bitchez you can't do with their own daughters. Is that too much?

  • underground market for juju bees and black-market jungle animal teeth; located beneath Berlin and other major German cities

  • so a priest and a rabbi are sitting on a park bench and they notice a little boy playing in the sand. "let's screw that kid." says the priest. "out of what?" asks the rabbi

  • "Hey! is that a quarter on the ground?" "Yes, damn it! and it's mind. get AWAY!"


  • the sound of a falling hookah ember

  • a muscat wine that tastes of tangerines

  • hey, you guys wanna see me stick a tangerine in my no-no-special-place?

  • new flavor from the creators of listerine: "gargle that musky feminine flavor"

  • an expensive scent derived from the anal glands of psychic pigeons

  • a citrus fruit of the middle-east with the pungent smell of muslim pussy, it is, afterall cloaked 365 days a year


  • a hung China-man

  • the Chinese dynasty that fell in 263CE to the Mongolian Klapp tribes

  • the sound of air being forced from a small boy's trachea during private communion

  • the principle focus of activity in Tantric and Hindu sex, or bhang* Fuck, I wasn't even there for that game, and I'm referencing it. Quidam!

  • Q: so what's so bad about having sex with an 11 year old boy? A: yeah, I haven't figured it out either

  • The sound the typical masculine penis makes as it ejaculates within ten seconds of entry, leaving the female dissatisfied when it gets up to go make a stupid sandwich. Enter the vibrator, which is more of a "vzzzzz", and goes on LONG ENOUGH, THANKS


  • the camp where every male... well... yeah. There's a stand-up routine. I'll play it if you'd like

  • activity center in Duloc for ex-convicts and quadriplegics lacking vocal chords

  • the original name of the Crystal Lake camp where Jason Vorhees made with the choppies

  • them damn homos, I hates 'em. But when they gits in that sparkly eyeliner, they kinda make me think of Susie May, from high school. I didn't tell you about last week behind that biker bar downtown?

  • you know, it's times like these when I think the gods for whoever invented the concept of all-girl summer retreats and potent communion wine.

  • not at all concentration camps produced munitions. Afterall, it is Germany. They still have to make candy.


  • see Brugh's disease

  • basted in THREE limbs, like whoa! Like, two legs and an arm, or, like two arms and maybe the nose... why the fuck is the hookah out, dude?

  • Total Recall... The Red Light district. Need I say more?

  • retarded person trying to explain Trojan condoms: "for her pleasure"

  • Tasmanian whipple thrill to the triple nipple cunt to the face with the horbgorble ripple. Adeps.

  • a thrice sucked nipple


  • slang for a male pubic hair trimmed to a medium length

  • affordable prostitute, onsale, the toothpaste? remains

  • where I put my pair at the end of the day

  • one's particular idiosyncratic method of GETTIN' SOME COCK, be in push-up bras, short skirts and high heels, or Mad Lasso Skillz and an extensive sex-toy collection

  • grapple hooks for squirrels

  • the part the bible "forgot" to tell you about on my good friend JC


  • dancing Latin penises. Usage in the middle ages originally referenced throbbing Hebrew members. In your mouth.

  • Tantric chant, while you're trying to suck yourself off...

  • mea culpa... for my COCK!!

  • but I figured cock would be masculine, so shouldn't it be meu cock? [for you!]

  • mandarin seasoned ethnic sampler platter

  • the standard male answer to the question "what's your favorite thing?"


  • mushroom or capped, cylindrical shaped object administered to cure protein anemia, very very contagious

  • like peniciline, but ghetto and it doesn't really work so you're just stuck with a needle

  • penicillin lite. those fucking sorostitutes won't eat anything with half a calorie. someone ought to tell them that the beer and sperm they drink is "ruining their diet," Fucking eat yourself!

  • ith wha I write in my notebook wit

  • so doc, I don't know how the pencil got stuck in there... really. Can you give me anything? Sure, Jimmy! Let me write you a prescription.. Ah, Can I borrow that?

  • delicious medicine lovingly dispensed from secret places you shouldn't tell Mommy about. it will make you all better, I promise!


  • Japanese bondage chicks on CRACK with CHAINSAWS

  • dyslexic titt-ays!

  • a homosexual Japanese with a stutter, attempting to insult other Asians

  • fuzzy bunny fur handcuffs... "SCREAM!... in comfort"

  • he moaned, and extruded the warm icing of love onto the fresh cheesecake of her soul. Lo! I am ruptured! claimed the sheep he had prepared for the occasion


  • kind of like a circle-jerk, only everyone involved exchanges cash as well as diseases

  • fucking jews finally found a cock ring that fit. and they named it after a financial institution

  • female "cock" ring

  • multicolored orgasm bucket, kept together by the structural integrity of seminfrious tubules wrapped in a tight circle

  • the part of the condom that doesn't quite get unrolled



  • like in "House of Cosby" -- "Roooody!" -- but as a sound effect [sorry, Jason, you weren't here for that]

  • the part of your brain that the foam from root beer goes straight to

  • root-like tree extension, usually above the ground, protruding and penetrating any tropical holes nearby

  • while reaching deep into the past, it nonetheless BANGS a BIG SHEET OF METAL. Which is HOT LIKE WHOA. No rly.


  • The Scottish term for "doggy-style"

  • well the farmers wouldn't want to go for the lamb front would they?

  • Every Friday night,
    Pressed against the satin sheets,
    Farmer and his love.
    [HAIKU, represent!]

  • soft, wooly, velvety, and from behind

  • hick's term for a sexual position only achievable with a sheep


  • supernatural masturbation. Come on, didn't YOU fuck ectoplasm when you were 6?

  • antonym of paradiddle: perpendicular dildo

  • because parrots are the only birds that can moan

  • "hey diddle diddle, a cat for my fiddle"

  • when a parrot shits on your shoulder, "oh wait, that's not shit" Garrr!!!


  • like Killer Condom, but in leg form. Come on, doesn't anyone else watch Troma films?

  • a sodomistic Ren. Fair enthusiast wearing a white hood

  • every leg that isn't Mr. T's

  • appropriate expression when asked "hey, weren't you that freaky kid, back in high school?" follow by grasping crotch and exposing rear

  • Ah. That's not a leg.

  • Current Music
    holy crap that was a lot of typing

(no subject)

Players: Vivian, Matt, Corey, Adam, Jeremy, Willow
Drinks: Tilt, Vanilla Vodka, Pino Grigio
Smokey Treats: Black Cloves, peach tobacco in hookah with peach vodka in base


  • a sexually transmitted disease, brought to you by SKEEZERS

  • Schizophoresis? Electrical penis? The act of electrically separating James Lipton from your mom

  • Saying "thesis" with a mouthful of boiling spooge

  • a cyst on my skis

  • quit slurring, you drunk fuck


  • fuckin' retarded titty squeezers

  • N.I.T.S.Q.U.E.G.E.R. Nords Inspired to Squirt Energy Geysers Efficiently and Raucously

  • fuck this word! did you see that thread on yayhooray with the dancing penises? W3RD

  • One who does HORRIBLE things to HORRIBLE things; or, the inability to write part 2 of a crap definition due to exessive exposure to amusing lyrics

  • Vestigial q's evolved to develop subliminal--no, opposable thumbs. VIVA TAQUITO GRANDE!


  • an onamotopeia for the sound of a loose vag flapping in my face

  • goth turkeys, yo

  • corey's gonna say fuckit on this word

  • you WISH you had enough to pay for me. I just used mouthwash and everything.

  • fuck it! i am... shit i'm high. Fucking Quagmire. I wish I could say giggady as fast as him.


  • bastard does not know how to lay the pipe. my e-sophagus is tasting like THE FUTURE. E-sophagus. 50% faster than snuffleupagus

  • when the barbarians would rape and pillage a city, they would form a hard crust over their genitalia. this crust would be cracked with a mallet like tool called a keck

  • porcine. fuck it. you picked a STUPID word. All I can think of is the last name of one of my ex-boyfriend's friends that I never met. Damnit.

  • Gaelic for COCK

  • the sound I make when I choke on V's penis


  • the only offense that will get you immediately fired from Domino's

  • God damn these things is itchy! Del, you know Sarah Jane as well as I do -- you got this problem too?

  • if you spell it backwards it's kinda like saying doin a lab. you know, like screwing a scientist. or having sex with a dog.

  • adam, i'm sorry, but i'm so annoyed with your balls. I need someone else. you never even send me flowers anymore.

  • one of those domino's pizza "noids," made famous via bollywood


  • like "fuzzy" only with sex. maybe something do with Alf, as well. but i wasn't there for that, and avow my innocence


  • No, f- you, g! G... why?

  • so corey got to the finish with my cock. That's why we were laughing. WE RULE!

  • foggy; misspelled. Damn bitches can't spell with a shit.


  • is that a topolgical anomoly in your sweater or are you just happy to see me?

  • one of my brothers friends. he drives a truck with 34 inch mudders, on eleven inch lift kit, aggressive grill guards, a cow catcher, and Git er Done written across the windsheild. He has tattoos of swastikas and skulls (read as scones) down his left arm and a billy ray mullet

  • Ho-leee shiyat, brother. You ain't never seen a biggin? Well, let me show you. Let's you and me an' Billy Ray go out behind the ice cream shop... oh, that? That's my war wound... from 'Nam

  • Olde English, base of imbiggen, to enlarge quickly

  • Iggy Pop trapped in Barnes and Noble and forgetting how to spell his first name


  • just, balls I got nothing. Wait wait! wasn't that the name of the captain from "day of the dead"? fuck! I give up. wait his name was Rhodes. Man i was way off.

  • the process by which one extracts jam from a green army cock.

  • ebonics for: tappin' dat ass

  • oh good loard, what do you think? the baby jesus won't permit me to define such things aloud, and i fear his laser beams. (holy shit, i can't believe you actually found a word lik e"fucking")

  • amusing sound effects. as in-- fun *ting*


  • i told you, it was for a science project! stop making fun of me!

  • "maybe it should have been the rule of wrist, can't do much damage with that."

  • fear of LESBIANZ WTF?!

  • How George Dubyah fells about the things that were supposed to stop the water in New Orleans. Ooh. Too soon?

  • Cornhole your damn jamma, Blasta Masta. Lesbian Techno going fasta fasta. Biotech, Biatch!


  • Deeze raps R Da shit! "biateh" "beeatch">

  • short and plump

  • the shit left over after composing lyrics

  • see also; Wu Tang Clan, or Italian fascist techno. Der Mussalini loves my giant pog collection!

  • really bad lyrics?


  • crusty chocolate coating ont he original issue of the laser disk of Edward Scissorhands

  • slang for "this word is not very inspiring at all..."

  • the abbreviation for one of the multiple wet dreams I have about Johnny Depp

  • I'll give you a hint: it does require fingers. (which is to say, I give up)

  • adam's rap name; pronounce "A-DEPS"


  • delicious pastry treats cooked with loving care from the flesh of the damned!

  • menopause for Cenobites over 45.

  • Dude, ok. The cherry and peach are ok, but I think I saw Jason Biggs eyeing the apple, so stay clear of that, yea?

  • "I am a meat popsicle"

  • mangled English for: "It's in the pies!"

  • Current Music